New Appreciation on Memorial Day
Albert Breer | Sports Illustrated
Last year, ahead of Memorial Day, I talked to Green Beret and ex-Texas long snapper Nate Boyer about the reality of the long weekend for veterans—and how it tough it was for those who’ve served to reckon with its meaning. I’ll be honest, before that, I didn’t really know how different this day was from, say, Veterans Day, or about the toll it takes on so many.
So this year, I wanted to find a player who’s learned the same thing I did last year, and Jay Glazer, who runs the MVP (Merging Veterans and Players) program with Boyer, pointed me to veteran Seahawks TE Luke Willson, who’s been hunkered down in Los Angeles through the pandemic—and has found something in MVP meetings on Wednesdays. These meetings bring together military veterans and NFL players for workouts and peer-to-peer support. Willson started attending just before the quarantine, and it has since become a weekly ritual.
“I went in not knowing what to expect, and I get there and it’s like, ‘Holy smokes, there’s a ton of people here,’” Willson said Friday afternoon. “I thought it’d be 15, 20 people, and there were over 100 people that day, and it was very, very raw, real conversation. I did the workout, too, and I was kind of the new guy there, feeling my way around. Since then, there were couple more in person, and once COVID hit, I started doing the Zoom calls.
“It’s pretty amazing what they accomplish.”
It’s helped Willson personally confront what post-football life might look like. But just as important, it’s given him perspective on the lives of the soldiers that he’s shoulder-to-shoulder with during these sessions.
“I’ve taken a lot so far,” Willson said. “I don’t really think there’s a direct comparison there, they risk their lives doing what they do. But on a ‘characteristics’ level, some characteristics you need to succeed in both are there. And the camaraderie, the fellowship that a lot of soldiers have had in their line of duty and how they seem to struggle losing that when they’re done, that’s the biggest thing we have in common.
“Fortunately for me, I’m still playing. But I know guys who’ve retired, and guys do miss the game, the competition, but the biggest thing they miss is the locker room, and the guys. It’s being part of something that’s bigger than yourself, which happens on a team. That ends and there’s a sense of loss. It’s a huge part of what we do in this group.”
And therein lies how Memorial Day can be problematic for some. As soldiers see it, it’s a day to remember all those who served and paid the ultimate price. Bottom line, handling the fact that you made it through an experience that many others didn’t can be difficult.
This year, it’s even harder. I talked to Glazer about that Friday, and he mentioned how, in the past, he and his crew have implored the veterans in the group not to isolate on Memorial Day. But now because of the coronavirus, a lot of those men and women are left with no choice.
That, most certainly, has added a layer to the work MVP always does this time of year. Statistics show that 22 veterans per day commit suicide, and Glazer was proud to tell me Friday that, four-and-a-half years in, they haven’t a had a single MVP member (you become a member after four sessions) take his or her own life. Glazer’s message to them this time of year is always, “It’s O.K. to be happy, and to celebrate your brothers and sisters.” But he admits there’s a difference this time around, knowing many will be alone.
And Willson is right there with him, thinking about the people he shares those 30-minute workouts, and 90-minute therapy sessions, with on Wednesday nights.
“I really had no clue—no clue—and to hear the stories, it evokes a lot of emotion,” Willson said. “I do wish that there were a lot more outlets efficiently run for vets transitioning back into normal life, being back off duty. I can’t imagine going into foreign land, doing a tour, experiencing that kind of violence and then coming back, and saying, ‘Hey, everything’s back to normal.’
“Hearing the stories, the events these people have been through.... I know a lot of people appreciate our vets, but more so we need to support them when they come back the best we can. I know from here on out, every Memorial Day, I’ll have more appreciation for what it means than I ever had before.”
So here’s hoping that all the men and women struggling today, who’ve done so much for all of us, understand that even if they’re by themselves, they aren’t alone.