Andi Ward
Andi Ward served as a Construction Electrician in the United States Navy with Naval Mobile Construction Battalion 3. She deployed to Ramadi, Iraq, in 2008 and to Djibouti and Uganda, Africa, in 2009. Eight years after leaving the service, Andi was introduced to MVP by a friend and, after walking into her first huddle, instantly knew she had found a team again. In May 2021, Andi will graduate with a B.S. in Kinesiology, with an emphasis on active lifestyle development. Andi is thrilled to be part of a team that seeks to improve its members' physical and mental wellbeing through connection, vulnerability, and member lead support and upliftment.
"I KNEW I HAD TO GET OUT OF NEBRASKA AND START OVER IF I WANTED TO MAKE ANYTHING OF MY LIFE. I WANTED TO BE PART OF A TEAM THAT I COULD POUR MYSELF INTO AND DEPEND ON."
"I didn't have a great childhood." Andi was born in Omaha, Nebraska, and is the second oldest of eight children: five boys and three girls. Her dad was sexually and emotionally abusive, and her mom suffered from poor health and depression. As a young child, she felt like it was up to her to hold everything together. Life didn't start getting better at home until her parents divorced in 2006, and by that time, Andi had already begun her freshman year of college. While battles raged at home with her mom fighting for full custody, Andi tried to focus on school. Partying became a way of life, and when several underaged drinking citations threatened her chosen career path, Andi decided to join the Navy. "I knew I had to get out of Nebraska and start over if I wanted to make anything of my life. I wanted to be part of a team that I could pour myself into and depend on." After Boot camp, Andi was sent to Shepard Air Force Base in Wichita Falls, Texas, where she began training to be a construction electrician. About a month after she arrived, she was raped by multiple males in her unit. "I didn't tell anyone because it would be my word against theirs. I just wanted to forget about it and pretend it never happened." Andi's drinking got worse, and her illusions about the military being a place where people had each other's backs dissipated.
Shortly after completing 'A' school, Andi deployed to Iraq, where she excelled on one of the larger projects near the Syrian border. "I loved being a part of my unit, and I loved the hard work and being able to see the progress of what we were building every day." Once she got back from Iraq, though, she started drinking again. "At one point, I almost felt like I was living a double life. Monday through Friday afternoon, I was a model Seabee. I was one of the top-performing females in physical training. I was good at my job, and I felt like I was an asset to my command. On the weekends, I became a completely different person. I partied hard and blacked out almost every night. Then on Monday, I was back in the gym, back to my ridged, disciplined self."
During NMCB 3's Africa deployment, something changed for Andi. She started having panic attacks for no apparent reason and a heartrate that never slowed down. "At the time, I had no idea what was going on, and now I realize that it was every trauma that I had ever pushed down and tried to ignore popping up at this really inopportune time." Drinking was her only coping mechanism, and it eventually landed her on restriction after getting back to the states. A few months later, Andi electively opted to leave the military with a general discharge under failure to adapt.
When Andi left the Navy, she didn't have a plan. She went back to school to fill the time and to try to start a new career, but the mental beating she had taken all her life had caught up to her, and she wasn't able to cope. Andi tried to get help from the VA, and all they had to offer at the time was a concoction of pills that did little to relieve the pain and anxiety or help her deal with the nightmares. "I was terrified to go to sleep for years." She eventually did find some relief when she began experimenting with drugs and finally landed on alcohol and methamphetamine to help her get through the day. "When I was on meth, I felt happy, I stopped blacking out from drinking, and I could go three days without sleeping. I knew it wasn't sustainable, and at the moment, it was the only thing that was working."
After a restrictive childhood and then the military, Andi craved freedom. She began working in the adult entertainment industry, and every day was a party. The money was good, and the lifestyle was able to accommodate her drug habit. Eventually, the drugs started to take a toll, and she started ending up in the emergency room. Things began to unravel, and Andi ended up homeless and living in hotels. Without a home and desperate, Andi moved in with a guy she met through work to try to get back on her feet. In the next two and a half years, she slowly descended into a different kind of nightmare. "He would fly into a rage over nothing and attack me and then yell at me for hours. He once sat me down and told me that he was going to torture me and cut me up into little pieces. He frequently threatened me with the multiple firearms that he kept displayed in the house. He became increasingly controlling as time went on, and I lived in a state of near-constant terror."
Throughout all this time, Andi's mom never gave up on her. She told her about a different kind of addiction treatment center in Minneapolis, Minnesota. It was a six-week program that emphasized diet, vitamins, education. Andi knew that if anything were going to work, this would be it. So in the spring of 2016, Andi entered outpatient treatment, and her family traveled out on different weeks to stay with her. For the first time in years, she slept through the night, and slowly her body started to heal. She found a new way to function without drugs and alcohol.
Fast forward two years later, Andi was back in school, in an apartment, and working part-time. That's when she found MVP. "When I walked in [to her first session], it's like my body let out a sigh of relief, I knew I had found the group that I had been looking for my whole life. All I ever wanted in life was to be part of something that had my back as much as I had theirs. Everything I do in life now, I do with a team of peers beside me. A team that I can be vulnerable with, which stands beside me in the good times and on the days that I struggle. I wouldn't be where I am today without the support of family, friends, and groups like MVP.
For so long, I thought I was lost, and now I realize that everything I have gone through has perfectly prepared me for where I am today, and every year my life gets richer and deeper and more connected, and I know that I am exactly where I need to be.